I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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