just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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