You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
