Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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