Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
handjob tips. give me some.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
