eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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