When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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