you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
