do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize