i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
