perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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