"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
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i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
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One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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