I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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