4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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