I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize