I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
