Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
