Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
