Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
