im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
