i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
sarcasm needs its own font
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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