How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
