I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
