To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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