I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i think i have two assholes
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This is my gift to your gina
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
