Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
