hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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