Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
