i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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