Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i drank out of a bidet.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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