My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
