Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
