i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize