He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
