she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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