he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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