For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
