thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
