so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
