I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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