it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
