I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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