I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
