we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
