Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
