So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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