Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
