He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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