you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
