I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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