The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
