i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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