he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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