Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
