you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
