I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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