At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize