I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
