Don't you send me to vm
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
