the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
