She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
