Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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