Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
