Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
