I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
