Why are handjobs necessary in class?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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