so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think your dad took our porno
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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